Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Accepting to a Fault yet Tragically Apathetic

I have been internalizing somewhat late last evening and early into the morning and this is what I've found: Over the past 10 years I have become so much more calm and laid back than I was earlier in my life. My level of anger has severely decreased. I fly off the handle rarely now and try to resolve conflict situations with reason and not emotion. So when someone says something that mildly hurts my feelings, I would once become angry and lash out, now I under react. However my personal feeling haven't changed much. I like the same thing with a few new interest mostly technology. My outlook on life has differed somewhat since I've became a father but remains mostly the same. I have the same delusions of grandeur in which I put myself up on a pedestal mostly because that's where I aspire to be. My ego is as large as ever mostly to cover up the way that I feel about myself deep down. The biggest change however is that I am much more accepting of the views of the others around me no matter how much I disagree with them or how much ignorance I have towards them. I try not to push my views onto others or to try to change their minds. I am accepting of other much to a fault mostly because I would like them to accept me? I don't apologize for myself or my interest no matter how other people view me or are ignorant of them. I don't try to have all the answers but I don't try to understand everything as much as I once did. In conclusion, I accept your views however I don't care what you think? I am big enough and much to self involved to get involved in a argument or conflict with a small minded person, who doesn't know how perceived differences are actually similarities?

...in any case feel free to criticize me openly but try to be objective in your criticism?